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It’s that time of year again when big yellow buses can be seen driving around the neighborhood and school bells begin ringing. Going back to school can definitely be an exciting time for parents and children. But for some kids, especially younger ones, going back to school after a summer break can feel overwhelming and […]
It’s that time of year again when big yellow buses can be seen driving around the neighborhood and school bells begin ringing. Going back to school can definitely be an exciting time for parents and children.
But for some kids, especially younger ones, going back to school after a summer break can feel overwhelming and scary. While this can be fairly common, there are some things parents can do to help their child prepare for the new school year ahead:
Check Your own Emotions
Parents of young children may also find it a bit sad to send their child off to the first day of kindergarten or first grade. Your child will pick up on your emotions so be sure to put on a good face and show them good energy.
Shop and Talk
Young children that are very nervous about starting school may not want to talk about it. It’s a good idea to take your child shopping for their school supplies and clothes and use this time to try and discuss their feelings about things. Having an activity to do can often help a child express themselves better. Also, while you want your child to be able to express their fears and worries, try and steer the conversation towards things they may be looking forward to as well. Encourage them to recognize that although change is scary, it can also be really great and fun!
Practice
Summer was most likely filled with days and nights that did not fit a tight schedule. Your child may have been able to stay up longer and sleep in later. It will be a shock for them to suddenly have to go to bed early and get up to an alarm clock. Practice getting back into the proper sleep routine before the first week of school.
Connect with Future Classmates
If your child will not know anyone in their class, try to see if you can have a playdate before the school year begins so they can meet some new friends. This will make it much easier come that first day of school when they see a friendly and familiar face or two.
Get Guidance
If you feel the stress of starting a new school year is overwhelming and your youngster and you are having a hard time handling things on your own, seek expert advice from a mental health professional who can help both of you cope.
If you’d like some help with your child’s anxiety, please be in touch. I’d be more than happy to discuss treatment options.
SOURCES
https://psychcentral.com/news/2006/08/07/control-back-to-school-anxiety/160.html
Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of your body and feelings in the present moment. If you’re silent for a moment, you will notice the subtle smell of your freshly washed clothing, the sound of your breathing, and watch a small leaf blow past your window. Mindfulness is an incredibly calming, relaxing practice that […]
Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of your body and feelings in the present moment. If you’re silent for a moment, you will notice the subtle smell of your freshly washed clothing, the sound of your breathing, and watch a small leaf blow past your window. Mindfulness is an incredibly calming, relaxing practice that can help adults in numerous ways, and it may surprise you that it can help children, too.
Studies have shown that children who learn mindfulness practices showed better grades, increased patience and improved coping skills. When taught in schools, mindfulness increases optimism in classrooms while decreasing bullying and aggression.
It can be remarkably simple to teach a child mindfulness. Here are four exercises to get started.
Teach your child to become aware of their body with a muscle awareness exercise. Sit down on the floor and do some exercises where they focus on one muscle at a time. They can point their toe and hold, and as you do the same ask them what they feel and where exactly they feel the tightening of their muscle. Hold for a few seconds and release, then repeat with other muscles.
Have your child lie on her back with a favorite stuffed animal on her belly. Have her watch the stuffed animal, which will naturally rise and fall as she breathes in and out. Teach your child to breathe in through their nose slowly, to hold their breath for a few seconds, then slowly release the breath as they watch their stuffed animal rise and fall to match their breaths.
Take a mindful walk around the block or at a local park with your child. Take in the sights, sounds and smells. What does your body feel like as you’re walking? What muscles do you feel working the most? Notice sounds you may hear, especially subtle sounds like a leaf skittering across the grass, or the crunch of a leaf as you step in. This will help them relax, get in a little bit of exercise and learn to appreciate all their body does to keep them moving.
Have a mindful meal or snack with your child. As you eat, do so mindfully. Focus on the food. What are the colors? How does it taste and smell? Have your child describe what happens when they chew and swallow. Have them notice what muscles are moving as they eat or bring the food to their mouth.
Children learn what they see at home, so by modeling mindfulness practices yourself, you will benefit them greatly.
Are you a parent looking for unique ways to cope with challenging parenting issues? A licensed therapist can provide the support and guidance you need. Give my office a call today and let’s schedule a time to talk.
We live in a society that worships the overachiever. Burning the candle at both ends and denying yourself pleasure until the work gets done is seen as honorable. And while having a good work ethic is definitely key to living your best life, it is also important to balance your work life with a sense […]
We live in a society that worships the overachiever. Burning the candle at both ends and denying yourself pleasure until the work gets done is seen as honorable. And while having a good work ethic is definitely key to living your best life, it is also important to balance your work life with a sense of play and freedom. If you don’t, you could experience burnout.
You may think that a workaholic would be every boss and manager’s dream employee. After all, if you’re someone who’s addicted to work, you’re generally the first one to arrive, last to leave, refuse to take vacations and take on mountains of work.
But workaholics are often not seen as team players, don’t delegate, and can’t handle their workload efficiently. And, because these individuals refuse to take time off of work, they can become sick. Workaholics experience far more work-related stress, anger, anxiety and depression, which can result in physical symptoms like headaches, migraines, GI upset and insomnia.
Wondering whether you are a workaholic? Here are 10 signs you may be addicted to working:
Workaholism is an actual disease like alcoholism that tends to be passed down from parent to child. Work addicts use work as a means to cope with emotional discomfort and feelings of inadequacy. Because there is a real, intense need for work as a distraction, other areas of their life tend to suffer. And the cycle goes on and on.
Workaholics can benefit greatly from cognitive behavioral therapy where they can learn coping strategies that allow them to feel better and work less.
If you or someone you know is addicted to work and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d love to help you find some balance in your life.
Attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder (ADHD) is one of the most common developmental disorders experienced in children. Unfortunately, there currently are limited options when it comes to safe and effective drug treatment. And even with suitable pharmacological interventions, many parents don’t like the idea of putting their young child on medications that may come with nasty side effects. There […]
Attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder (ADHD) is one of the most common developmental disorders experienced in children. Unfortunately, there currently are limited options when it comes to safe and effective drug treatment. And even with suitable pharmacological interventions, many parents don’t like the idea of putting their young child on medications that may come with nasty side effects.
There are, thankfully, other more natural treatment options, and meditation is one of the best.
Okay, I know you are probably thinking, “How on Earth am I supposed to get my hyperactive and impulsive kid to sit still long enough to meditate? If I they were capable of sitting still, I wouldn’t be searching the internet for help with ADHD!” Fair enough. But allow me to explain.
Your Child’s Brain on ADHD
All people have thoughts and impulses that may not be that rational. You feel like ramming your car into the car that just took your parking spot, for instance. Luckily, most of us have a functioning pre-frontal cortex that keeps us in check and stops us from doing dangerous or unlawful impulsive behavior.
Your child’s pre-frontal cortex is significantly impaired, and so he or she cannot put the brakes on these impulses. An impulse makes itself known and before your child even knows what’s going on, they are acting on it. It happens fast!
Meditation Empowers Children with ADHD
What children with ADHD need more than a medication that will ‘calm them down’ is to become aware of their own thoughts. By recognizing that he is not his thoughts but an individual simply having thoughts, he becomes empowered to self-regulate and make better choices.
Studies are now showing that mindful meditation can help children with ADHD:
Helping Your Child Get Started
The best way to get your child interested in the practice of meditation is to practice it yourself. Do some research and perhaps take a few classes yourself so you fully understand what is involved.
You’ll also want to create a space in your home that is just for meditation. Choose a location where there will be no interruptions and encourage a sense of calm.
Be sure to start your child out nice and slow. The Chopra Center suggests one minute of meditation for every year of your child’s age. All kids are different so you may need to adjust for your kid. Your child may be 10, for example, but only be able to start off doing 5 minutes. That’s fine, don’t push it – use the age suggestion as a starting point.
Lose any expectations you may have at the beginning. Most adults with fully-functioning pre-frontal cortexes have a very hard time with meditation at first, so chances are your child will as well. Do not become frustrated and yell at your child to “stop fidgeting.” This will only discourage both of you.
And finally, if they need encouragement to get started, feel free to use positive rewards. Allow them to choose what movie the family will watch or which board game you will play on the weekend.
Will getting your ADHD child to meditate be easy? You’d have an easier time putting a corset on a pig. That being said, it’s important to keep at it because eventually you will see some wonderful changes in your child, and that is priceless.
While there are many surprises and challenges that await you in motherhood, one of the biggest shocks may be time management, or the feeling of being overwhelmed. No matter how happy and fulfilled you may be as a new mom, if you don’t take time out of your busy day to take care of yourself, […]
While there are many surprises and challenges that await you in motherhood, one of the biggest shocks may be time management, or the feeling of being overwhelmed. No matter how happy and fulfilled you may be as a new mom, if you don’t take time out of your busy day to take care of yourself, you’re not giving your precious baby your best self. Ensuring that you practice self-care might seem like the lowest of your priorities, but being rested and cared for yourself is an essential part of being a mom.
While it will be challenging, it’s not impossible to make sure you take care of you. Below are some pointers that can help.
Get Your Sleep
While sleeping for a solid chunk of time may be a pipe dream for some, sleeping when your baby sleeps will allow you to get that much needed rest. If you’re worried that you won’t wake to baby’s cries, keep a baby monitor on your nightstand or bring the crib into your bedroom. Ignore the temptation to do chores while your baby sleeps, because it’s vital that you get your rest.
Stay Well Dressed
While it’s tempting to wear your maternity clothes out of convenience and to save money, it will help you feel your best to have comfortable clothes that fit. Get a couple of outfits in your size to wear until you get back to your pre-baby weight.
Make Time to Shower
If you neglect the simple routine of taking a shower, it will take a toll on your mental health. To make sure you shower regularly, try taking a shower when someone is home. You can also bring your baby in the bathroom with you, or take a quick shower while the baby is napping.
Accept Help
Regardless if you’re single or have a partner, trying to go it alone in caring for your baby is a big mistake. You may hate to ask for or accept help, but raising a baby is a lot of work. By recruiting help, you can make sure you have enough time to not only take care of the baby, but to take care of yourself. To try and do it all yourself does nothing but put unrealistic expectations on you, giving you feelings of guilt when you’re unable to accomplish the impossible. It’s important to ask for and accept help.
Make sure your partner is making an equal effort when it comes to baby’s care, and enlist the help of family and friends. If you have a friend that loves to cook, see if they’ll cook you an occasional meal. You might also ask for help with laundry, running errands, or babysitting (even if it’s just half an hour so you can take a long hot shower.)
Are you a new mom looking for parenting support and guidance? A licensed professional therapist can help. Call my office at your earliest convenience, and let’s schedule an appointment to talk.
It has long been believed that having faith is key to getting through some of life’s greatest challenges. A spiritual practice can often give people the strength and confidence to push through obstacles and make positive changes. But can faith have a positive effect on depression and anxiety? According to new research, it can. Your […]
It has long been believed that having faith is key to getting through some of life’s greatest challenges. A spiritual practice can often give people the strength and confidence to push through obstacles and make positive changes.
But can faith have a positive effect on depression and anxiety? According to new research, it can.
Your Brain on Spirituality
According to a study published in JAMA Psychiatry, meditation or any other form of regular spiritual practice (such as prayer or religious contemplation) has been linked to a thickening of the brain cortex. The study, which was the first to investigate whether there is any physical evidence in the brain linked to the protective effects of faith against depression, looked at 103 adults at either high or low risk of depression, based on family history.
At the end of the study, magnetic resonance was used to view participants’ brains, and the images clearly showed thicker cortices in those participants who placed a high importance on religion or spirituality than those who did not.
But even more significant was the fact that the thicker cortex was found in exactly the same regions of the brain that had shown thinning in people with a high risk for depression.
3 Ways Faith Can Help You Fight Depression and Anxiety
Every individual requires unique treatment methods to combat their symptoms of depression. While cognitive behavioral therapy and prescription medications work well for many people, many others may be helped by embracing a spiritual practice.
If you are suffering with depression, here are three reasons why you may want to focus more on your faith:
1. Faith Offers Hope
A belief in a loving power greater than ourselves can help us feel hopeful, even in our darkest hours. Faith turns wishful thinking into great expectations. And when we start to expect goodness in our lives, we naturally feel hopeful for our future.
2. Your Behaviors Evolve
Whether it’s through praying, meditating, or attending some sort of spiritual service or gathering, faith-filled people tend to experience positive changes in their attitudes and behaviors. Where once you may have had a knee-jerk emotional reaction to a situation, you might now be able to center yourself instead and face situations with calmness and clarity.
3. Your Perception Changes
Faith has a way of helping us see ourselves and our lives differently. Problems turn into opportunities, enemies into friends, and impossibilities into possibilities.
While it may take some time before you feel relief from your depression or anxiety, by embracing faith, you will be better able to cope with the symptoms.
If you or a loved one are suffering from depression or anxiety and would also like to explore treatment options, please reach out. I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
SOURCES
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-the-questions/201603/4-powerful-ways-spirituality-can-ease-anxiety-and-depression
https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/07/31/for-many-with-severe-mental-illness-spirituality-plays-role-in-well-being/137462.html
https://psychcentral.com/news/2014/01/19/how-spirituality-protects-the-brain-against-depression/64698.html
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/1792140
Going through a divorce can be one of the most stressful and emotional times in a person’s life. It’s hard enough wrapping your own head around the event, but trying to break the news to your children can be especially difficult. Many parents struggle having this conversation because they worry they may not be able […]
Going through a divorce can be one of the most stressful and emotional times in a person’s life. It’s hard enough wrapping your own head around the event, but trying to break the news to your children can be especially difficult.
Many parents struggle having this conversation because they worry they may not be able to keep their emotions in check. They also wonder if shielding their kids from the ensuing pain isn’t the loving thing to do.
Though it may seem like avoiding this conversation is the right idea, it can actually be quite detrimental to your kids and, in the end, cause behavioral or emotional issues. While it will no doubt be difficult and uncomfortable, having an open and honest conversation about your divorce is the best thing to do.
Here are some guidelines:
Have Both Parents Break the News
This might be difficult for some couples, but ideally, a joint conversation with your children is the best option for a few reasons:
Be Transparent
You may feel uncomfortable during the conversation and want to be… less than honest at times, but it’s important to be completely transparent while speaking with your kids.
First of all, children have a knack for sniffing out dishonesty in adults. Trying to pull one over on them, even if you believe it’s for their own good, may only cause them to feel angry and resentful. Also, if you don’t give kids truthful answers, they will wind up creating their own answers just to quell the anxiety.
Obviously, there may be age-appropriate guidelines to the discussion, and specific language may have to be either included or excluded, but at the end of the day, honesty truly is the best policy.
Discuss Upcoming Changes
When children are told their parents are getting divorced, they can’t conceive of what that means in terms of what life will be like in the future. It’s important that you let them know what they can expect when it comes to things like where they will live and how much time they will have with each parent. If you yourselves don’t have all of those answers yet, then communicate this to your children and let them know you will share this information as soon as you’ve made decisions.
Don’t Push Your Children for a Reaction
Once the news has been broken, many parents want immediate feedback from their kids. But it’s important to remember that children will all process the news differently. Some kids may feel comfortable talking openly about their feelings, while others may struggle. While your intentions may be good, pushing your children to give you a reaction before they are ready to react can be detrimental.
The best thing you can do is to let your children know you love them, and that you are available to them whenever they are ready to share their thoughts and feelings, or if they have more questions.
The divorce process will be difficult for all family members to cope with, and it may be difficult for everyone to communicate effectively when emotions are running high. If you feel you could use some help, it’s a great idea to seek support and guidance from a family therapist. They will be able to facilitate loving and open communication and help your family adjust to the changes that lie ahead.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
On an almost daily basis we hear stories of female sexual harassment and abuse in the media. Sadly, male sexual abuse is fairly common, but the issue is underreported by the media and society in general. One US-based study found that 1 in 6 boys experience some form of sexual abuse by the age of […]
On an almost daily basis we hear stories of female sexual harassment and abuse in the media. Sadly, male sexual abuse is fairly common, but the issue is underreported by the media and society in general.
One US-based study found that 1 in 6 boys experience some form of sexual abuse by the age of 18. Other research suggests the ratio may be as high as 1 in 4.
Why is this conduct not reported more often?
To start, most men are embarrassed to be the victim of sexual abuse, particularly when it is perpetrated by other men. In our culture, men are supposed to be invulnerable and not feel emotional pain. In other words, guys are supposed to be the strong, silent type. It simply goes against the silent rules of being a man to acknowledge trauma and admit that you are suffering.
As a result, male victims of sexual abuse shove their feelings down and deny what happened. This repression of experience and emotion can and often does lead to isolation, anger, sadness, shame, guilt, and fear. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), major depression, anxiety, and substance abuse are also common among victims of male sexual abuse.
It’s important to get help.
If you are the victim of sexual abuse, understand that you are far from alone. As the topic becomes more mainstream, there is less judgement by those who don’t understand how a man could be victimized in such a way. Education regarding male sexual abuse and demystifying misconceptions surrounding rape is essential to help male survivors heal and speak out.
While more needs to be done to bring this subject to mass awareness, it’s important that individual victims seek support. A therapist will be able to help you deal with your complex emotions and offer strategies to move through and past feelings of depression and anxiety. In time, healing can and does occur.
If you or someone you know is a male victim of sexual abuse and would like to discuss treatment options, please get in touch. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
No parent likes hearing that their child is acting out in class. At first, most of us want to blame ourselves and figure out what we’ve done wrong. When we come up empty, we tend to put the blame on our child, and sometimes we even get angry. The truth is, parents do the best […]
No parent likes hearing that their child is acting out in class. At first, most of us want to blame ourselves and figure out what we’ve done wrong. When we come up empty, we tend to put the blame on our child, and sometimes we even get angry.
The truth is, parents do the best they can and so do their children. There are a myriad of reasons why children act out at school.
Big Changes
A divorce, move to a new city, or death in the family are big life events that are hard on everyone. This is particularly true for young children who do not know how to express their feelings and have not yet developed coping mechanisms.
Sleep Issues
Has something happened to interrupt your child’s sleep patterns? Are they not getting their naps? Are they waking up frequently during the night from noisy neighbors or growing pains? Even adults act out when we don’t get proper sleep.
Self-Esteem Issues
Children develop self-esteem issues for different reasons, but one of the ramifications is changes in mood that can lead to disruptive behavior.
These are some of the reasons why your child may be acting out in school. But now the questions becomes, what can you do about it as their parent?
Talk to Your Child
First, see if you can pinpoint the cause. If it’s not something already listed, do some digging. Take your child to the doctor. Is their hearing and sight okay? Do they have any GI trouble? Are they being picked on? Are they getting enough exercise? Talk openly with your child and ask them what is going on.
Set Boundaries
If your child has never had any problems acting out in the past, they may not be clear on what is and is NOT acceptable behavior. Make it clear what you expect from that at home as well as school.
Seek Counseling
You may be able to identify and solve the issue yourself. For example, if your child was frustrated from their poor eyesight, a trip to the eye doctor may quickly solve your problems. However, if the behavioral issue stems from a big life change or poor self-esteem, you may need the assistance of a trained behavioral therapist.
If you have a child who is acting out in school and are interested in exploring treatment options, please be in touch. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
Sources:
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-behavioral/2018/07/8-reasons-why-your-child-might-be-having-prolonged-behavior-issues-that-arent-concerning/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/parenting-tips/2012/07/7-hints-for-setting-boundaries-with-your-kids/
https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/children-medication.aspx
For many of us, college was absolutely the best time in our lives. The freedom and friendships made those four years incredibly special. But college isn’t all sparkles and unicorns. For others, college is a completely different and often negative experience. As fun as it can be, it’s also incredibly stressful, especially when it comes time to […]
For many of us, college was absolutely the best time in our lives. The freedom and friendships made those four years incredibly special. But college isn’t all sparkles and unicorns. For others, college is a completely different and often negative experience.
As fun as it can be, it’s also incredibly stressful, especially when it comes time to take an exam. The bigger and more important the exam is, the more we tend to suffer from anxiety, and the less likely we are to do our best.
If this scenario sounds all too familiar to you, then use the following tips and exercises to help lower your anxiety before the next big exam you take:
1. Breathe Deeply
When we feel fear, our body can go into an adrenaline-fueled panic mode. This chemical and physical reaction is how our ancestors survived numerous threats. But in this state, our minds do not function properly. In fact, they often go completely blank.
When we take slow, deep breaths, we help our bodies go from the survival response to a relaxed response. This helps the blood flow back into our brain and helps us focus on the task at hand.
2. Change Your Perspective
Most of us think of tests as something designed specifically to trick us. The truth is, if you have studied and are totally prepared, then the test is actually an opportunity for you to show off how much you know.
The other truth is your professors WANT you to pass. When you pass, they look good. So stop going into the exam with a negative attitude and go in feeling confident and knowing your teachers want you to do well.
3. Start Strong
To set the right tone for the test, scan it to find those questions you are 100% sure about and answer those first. This will help you feel confident and put your mind into a free-flow thinking state.
4. Be Realistic
What is your history of taking exams? Have you generally done well in the past? Are you a good student that makes an effort? If so, remind yourself of these facts. It’s easy to have dramatic and unrealistic ideas floating around in your head right before an exam. Thoughts like, “I’m gonna fail and then I won’t pass the class and I won’t get my degree and will end up working at Starbucks the rest of my life if I’m lucky.”
This likely won’t happen so don’t make an already stressful situation worse by being unrealistic.
5. Exercise
Exercise the morning before your exam. This will not only release built-up tension in your muscles (make sure to stretch after your workout), but it will also release “feel-good” endorphins that will put you in a better frame of mind.
If you would like some extra help handling the stressors of academic life, please reach out to me today to schedule an appointment.
Sources:
https://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-to-reduce-anxiety-right-here-right-now/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201502/test-anxiety-quick-tips
https://www.onlineschoolscenter.com/20-effective-ways-to-calm-your-nerves-before-an-exam/
